The Broad Museum and Toddlers

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I’ve been wanting to visit the Broad Museum for some time now.  It’s not the most convenient of museums to go to, but it’s new, free, and has the Infinity Mirrored Room (which everyone knows is perfect for a selfie).  While  I loved the Broad, I’m going to suggest that if you are going to bring an active toddler with you…just DON’T!

First of all, you have to reserve tickets to go to the museum for a set time, and everyone knows toddlers will be cranky for any event that you decide to plan at a specific time.  We hopped online the day tickets became available a month before our visit and surprise surprise, all the good times had sold out by the time our page refreshed.  So we were left with a 4pm time slot.  For those of you who don’t know, 4pm is before dinner and basically wild rumpus time.  “But surely the amazing architecture and impressive collection will intrigue your toddler,” you may be saying to yourself.

Toddlers don’t give a crap about cool architecture or artwork.  In fact they are likely to be scared by creepy paintings and traumatized by violent and/or sexual images.  Which they were.  Roro not so much, but her 3 year old buddy was definitely affected by the images in the collection.  While I’m not a fan of sheltering your child, I will say to come prepared to explain A LOT of things.  While one toddler was being emotionally traumatized, the other (Roro) was really digging the cement floor.  She dug it so much, that she decided to plop herself face down on the floor in the middle of each gallery room and pretend to sleep.  Yes, my friends, she was so into the art she wanted to snooze.  When I tried to pick her up, she turned floppy (parents of toddlers, you know what I’m talking about).  What came next was lots of mom sweating and avoiding eye contact with other museum goers.

Toddlers also don’t care about rules.  Mine kept trying to touch sculptures and stand on their pedestals.  She also doesn’t follow social norms and will just cozy up to strangers browsing on their phones in the middle of the museum.  If said stranger ignores her, she will try to be really cute and giggle.  This is more embarrassing for me than her, as she has no idea she’s being rejected, but I am fully aware that the hipster before her has no interest in children.

So, what was the best part, you ask? OUTSIDE. There was a green lawn outside of the museum and all the kids were just running around.  Roro liked that.

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I’d LOVE to go back to the Broad to contemplate the works and themes of the gallery, but I’m gonna wait til I have a babysitter next time.

P.S. Infinity Mirrored Room selfie was foiled by toddler fears of small dark rooms.

The Broad

221 S. Grand Avenue

Los Angeles, CA 90012

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And, Breathe…

Oh, hi…So, remember when I said that FET 2 was canceled, and then it wasn’t? And then we did the transfer? Well, I wish it had just been canceled like I thought, because it would have spared me a lot of grief and one perfectly healthy embryo.  I think the grief part I can handle, the worry, the stress.  It’s the part where we lose an embryo–a potential child, that I can’t get over right now.

The wounds are still fresh, we only found out yesterday that the sticky little guy didn’t take.  Right now I’m a mixed bag of emotions.  Be careful what you say to me because I may cry, scream, or just stare at you blankly.   I’m sad that  we’ll never get to meet the would-be baby, but relieved we still have 3 more frozen.  I’m scared that the other three won’t stick around for the long haul.  I’m confused as to whether we should ship our frozen embryos down to California and find a new doc.  I’m so incredibly grateful that I’m mom to one amazingly strong little embryo that DID stick around and turned into a beautiful and joyful toddler.  The thought of my amazing Roro is what brings me to tears.  It’s like an overwhelming sense that we were so lucky to get that chance, while at the same time mourning the wonderful kids that we may never get to know.

It feels greedy to want more than one child now, but I can’t help it.  I love being Roro’s mom, LOVE it!  I think for now, I need to wrap myself in that comforting truth, and breathe…

OOPS, My Bad (FET 2 Update)

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This picture of me, so serene and relaxed, it is not at all representative of what’s happening in my brain.  Sure it was taken yesterday, 4dp5dt (4 days post a 5 day transfer), but it was literally 5 minutes of being still.  Let me rewind…

You remember when I said FET 2 was canceled bc my body wasn’t cooperating?  Well that was the day before I got the results of my last ultrasound to check my lining.  I guess with that extra Estrace, my body caught up after all.  I’m obviously a pessimist.  So, I think I was too embarrassed to admit that I had jumped the gun, and avoided the topic.  Wanted to wait until my Beta day (the day they confirm you’re pregnant/ Or NOT) to share that I had made a big mistake, and was now miraculously pregnant! Or it would be negative, and I wouldn’t have to share any news at all.  But, being the hot mess that I am, I can’t wait ’til next week to share that I’m going INSANE!!!

I thought it would have helped that I had been through this whole waiting game before, but it kind of makes things worse.  I look back at the notes I kept after our first Embryo Transfer and see that by now I’d be having cramps and fatigue.  I have no cramps, and I’m pretty much always fatigued, so that means nothing.  I mean, I had two sharp pains 2dp5dt, but that’s way too early right?  See…crazy town! And I still have a week of this!!!

It doesn’t help that the transfer did not go smoothly, and the doc had to insert the catheter twice because little embryo was super sticky and wouldn’t come out.  It didn’t reassure me that a tech in training couldn’t get a good view on the screen and I was basically holding my breath  in pain  and anxiety until I started feeling like I might pass out on that transfer table.  My only solace is that this little guy/girl was so eager that it already started hatching (unlike Ro), and I’m hoping it was so sticky that it’s now lodged nicely in my fluffy lining.  I know I’ve been waiting for this little one to make it safely home.  I hope s/he decides to stay a while.  Feast your eyes on this eager embryo:

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